The word “wedding” always brings me mixed feelings. I founded a successful wedding planning business in Hanoi almost ten years ago – right out of college. It was one of the very first few professional wedding businesses in Vietnam that were early founded and sustained the chaotic competition – despite a two-year pause right when the business just took off. I left the business at almost the same time I knew that I am going to have my own wedding – which was just a few months ago. And now I have not only one but a whole team of wedding planners helping me out with the wedding.
The point is many people associate me with the word “wedding”; so when I mention it, a lot of expectation was already set up in people’s mind. I started this blog post and could not help thinking what people would think when they first see the title. It is not about my own wedding, it is not about my old wedding business. it is about a wedding vase I built for a colleague-turned-friend who just got married, it is also special to me because of my background in wedding. I like to explore the stories behind things. I enjoy fine arts, things that are authentic – whether they have a modern or traditional, industrial or crafty look. But what I appreciate and am more curious about is the story behind each object. The story can be historical, cultural, or personal. Linking a particular object with its own story explains the value, the meaning, the intention of the object, and it makes me look at the object with a different mindset. When I read such “story” of this native American wedding vase, everything just makes so much sense to me.
The vessel itself is quite beautiful, and its design is an integral part of its meaning. The two spouts represent the couple; one the bride, the other the groom. The rounded base and shared reservoir of the vase represent the couple’s now-shared lives. The looped handle also represents this unity in a more visible and apparent way, much like a wedding band is a visible reminder of the deeper, spiritual connection shared by a husband and wife.The handle creates a circle in the center of the vase that represents the circle of life. The vase then becomes a cherished piece in their household and great care is taken to make sure it is never damaged.
January this year I had my “wedding” in Portland. It was not really a wedding, it was a small, simple signing ceremony at the City Hall with our closest family members, but it was still an important and meaningful milestone. From my side, my parents and my brother could not attend – they were in Vietnam. Instead, I have my cousin and his family, who I am very close to, traveled to Portland from Seattle. I also have Chi – my good friend from San Francisco, and her husband at the ceremony. Realizing that I do not have any close relative or friend in Portland at all, I was touched by their love and their support. I want to show the same support to Caesar & Emy.
Caesar and Emy moved to Portland few months ago – as Caesar took the job offer at the company where I work. On their road trip to Portland, they got engaged. They did not know anyone in Portland before they came here, Caesar considers his colleagues as his family. When I knew that they are going to have an elope wedding, I tried to time my work so that I would have the vase by the time they return to Portland from their wedding. But things happened and almost a month after their wedding I was ready to present to them my gift. That was actually a good thing because they absolutely did not expect it.
If the vase were for me, I would have completed it much faster. I would not care so much how it would eventually look like. Perhaps I am used to my own ugly potter?! But it is a gift for a friend, on a very important occasion, so I put a lot of thoughts into each step of the process. (one of the reasons I was one-month late was because I over-thought). At some point, I was worried if the vase’ finish would match the furniture in their house. But at the end, I focused on the most important thing: I want to hand-build a wedding vase for them, it is meaningful to me and I believe it will be meaningful to them.
Here is the wedding vase. I brought it to the office in a grocery paper bag, its rustic look would not go well with a fancy gift box.
Caesar asked “Why did you bring the grocery to our meeting?”, and then he said Emy would cry when she saw this. Just like me, they appreciate the story behind it – including the part that it took me few weeks to hand-build the vase. Thankfully, Caesar is in design, he understands and likes its rustic look. Here are some photos of the vase I took the day before I gave it away, but hey – sometimes things look better in photos than in real life 😉
and a bonus photo of an accident in the process:
I would have never thought one day I would add to my wedding “history” a memory like this. I am glad I did.
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